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Thursday, March 1, 2012
Ohkay, hello. I almost forgot i got a freaking blog. Look how time flies. Look how much things changes. Today marks the end of my year one life in SP. After term break i would be in year two alr, its gonna be even more hectic & even crazier than what it was like in year one. 2011 came & past just like that in a blink of an eye & the worst part is i made the silliest mistake at the end of 2011 & got myself in such a pathetic state. It was excruciatingly painful NOW. Okay, i know many have been asking what happened between us, so today i shall be frank & blog about what that had happened to my long r/s. I'll take it as a form of letting out of whatever i've been bottling & keeping to myself for so long. But, i'll just take the fault to myself & no other parties are to be involved, just me, myself & i. Okay, so yeah, disclaimer first just in case. All was well until poly life started for us, new friends, new cliques, new environment & etc factors. Even though we are in the same campus, we hardly have the chance to meet or have lunch tgt, be it our timetable clashes or we already had lunch with our new classmates, we just dont have the time. Yes, time was an excuse i know cause if we really wanted to see each other time would never even be the reason. Thus, it slowly leads to Neglection, Misunderstandings, Arguments, yes countless of arguments. Then, things started to change when somebody( lets name him Z) suddenly gave me a text out of the blue & we started texting more & more frequently no quarrels, no arguments, no one word text msges, sweet talks, a goodmorning & a goodnight text every single day. Yeaps, one fine day we decided to play a game. "whoever falls for whoever first, Loses" I was confident that i wont lose just yet so i played it anyway & im sure Z will also never ever fall for me. But who knows, after going out tgt a couple of times i feel what i have never felt so before just like, wow its this even real somebody treating you so nice, making you feel loved & doing funny things just to make you smile? Yes, we had mutual feelings by then. I was really depressed & tired of all the arguments & its like finally someone, just someone that cared so much about you when you felt like you were at the lowest moment of your life. Both of us know clearly that we couldnt be tgt, cause of some reason. We also know it clear enough that one day we will still be going a separate route regardless. & we both knew that we had to stop meeting up & texting each other. So one night we decided to talk things out & agreed to stop seeing each other. However, somehow after we reach home both of us actually feels the same, we actually felt sad? Then idk why, we continued going out -.- One day, i sit down & thought it through, one is a 3year long r/s another is a happiness that i wanted. It caught me in a dilemma i dont bear to break the heart of either one & i didnt want people to speak ill of Z if we ever get tgt. So, I decided to sacrifice both, yes both of them also let go. It was really hard, very very hard & painful. Its like cutting both your hands away & you are left with none, yes NONE. Another reason is i do not wish to be the reason spoiling their r/s so yes it just mean sacrificing & killing myself only lo. Weeks past, Z & I gradually had lesser text & i didnt want to disturb his life anymore so i didnt text him either so we stopped texting each other. 1 month past after everything, I began to realised who i actually loved, who i truely wanted to be with after that mistake i made. It was the bittersweet memories i've been through tgt w him during the 3 year long r/s. Its amazing how fate brought us thus far, same kindergarten, primary, seconday & even the same polytechnic. I tried to repent my mistake but its futile in the end. I was caught up in an unrequited love, rejections after rejections after rejections. It's been hell for me and together with the stress that exams brings along. I even had suicidal thoughts as it was really depressing for me, so much memories, first love. I had many sleepless night, finished half boxes of my tissue, puffy eyes next morning, strong front, fake smile when im w my friends but breakdown the moment when im alone. I know there wont be any 2nd chances for me, & dont deserved it at all. Nevertheless, im slowly letting go & wishing him all the best cause he definitely deserve someone better. Cheers, to our long lasting friendship from now on. Tuesday, October 11, 2011  Hello, just a update or you can say a short ranting cause somebody w the initial of M is really pissing me off though im abit slow to know that she have been badmouthing me for quite some time but still i wanna rant now! :> Okay la, abit fail & retarded la ikr! But, the more i see her face the more i wanna slap her face but i scared dirty my hand): So glad she unfriend-ed me in fb save the trouble & time to delete & block her myself. How nice right?(: Well actually everything started way back at the start of 2011 jan during the bday celebration. A crazy woman ask for ODM watch for birthday present? when people open chalet, give her face to celebrate her bday? she never fork out a single cent still dare talk cock, buay song everyone & block everybody hah, as though everybody owe her a living. GETALIFE GIRL. Only loser like you would delete & block people then bitch & backstab people. I hope karma will find its way to you & screw you upside down! Yes, definitely you will get your retribution one day. Afterall, what comes around goes around. I oso super fail that kind, way back in sec school already dont like your bloody attitude already, dk why the hell did i still hang out with you-.- BYE, better pray hard your kids wont end up like you! {SUCKTHUMB}  Wednesday, October 5, 2011   He send me this kind of msg before telling me its a whale but i couldnt understand. Now i realise it really look like a whale with a big head in fact. Friday, September 30, 2011   ALOHAAA ! Bunny in the house yo. {jusFYI, thats th anatomy of heart in my pic jus below me} EWW, i cant purr,meow,woof,squeak or whatever cause bunny is such a quiet animal ! GEEZ. okay la, not calling myself bunny la but already a handful saying i have bunny tooth! GOTMEH?! ahaha, anyways just a shortshort update then off i go for my shower & dinner alrdy/. Recently im busy with nothing much actually :/ just burn my weekends working as a LG phone promotor at a singtel retail shop @ Plaza Singapura at Dhoby Ghaut which is MADD FARR! but whatever its gonna be my last week there already or else im killing Sky for cheating my feeling! HMMS. Aiya whatever lo gonna stop this weekend job when school reopens which is less than 3 weeks! ohgod! super dread school esp when i have 8am lessons in the early morning! Gonna spend the rest of many hols doing something productive already laa been slacking at home & do nth other than staring at my lappy & phone. oh okay, i need to plan for some shopping spree, makan spree, &touring already! anybody want join me? HAHA:x alrighto, gtg already ! end post here then. SEEYA BYES ! :D Just to share a nice song with awesome people ! :D Wednesday, September 7, 2011 HOLA~ well its holiday for me alrdy but still dont have the mood to blog. so yeaps, just a short post. Hmms, about my horoscope! i dont really believe in horoscope but sometimes everything on my horoscope just describe me totally & its so hard to to believe it now. From life, friends, family, character even love! so much to what im going through & experiencing. She has a great attitude and always seems to be on the go. Sagittarius woman is for the man with lots of energy and creativity. She likes unconventionality and change, so whisk her away last second to somewhere unplanned and uncharted and she will remember you forever. In order for her to stay, you have to keep her happy. If she gets unhappy or bored, she won't bother to fix any problems, she will just walk out and never look back. Fortunately, it is not that difficult to keep her happy. Be her friend, she does not take love to seriously anyway, if you are her companion, love will blossom after that. Let her have her freedom, flirt with her and take the relationship slowly, do not rush her. Be truthful, genuine, positive and adventurous and never play mind games. The lucky man will not only have a wonderful fun relationship but an adventurous companion as well. Monday, August 29, 2011 Just felt a need to blog something, thou i have nothing much to say. just 2 more days to endure & i'll be free for 6 weeks. most of my est are all badly done, i know it myself. Disappointed but what to do. Seriously felt like ranting alot & have h2h talk but i couldnt find anyone thats truely understands me. I mean serious. I have no close friends, no companion, im emokia ok. Seems like its no longer gonna be a happily-ever-after fairytale. Its been too long, you are sick of me, lets be frank. i would still pretend to smile, even thou it hurts inside. im somebody that wouldnt want to let anyone know that i cry, so most of the time i just held back my tears. its gonna hurt when it heals too, hope it will all get better in time. OKAYTHXBAI. Thursday, August 4, 2011 Hello(: This is actually my 100th blog post, yes after 1 whole year this is only the 100th post. Would be a short post before i head to bed cause very sleepy already :x so i've finished the 3 tests for this week, got back one of the results not contented another B -.- pull down my MST result somemore! angryangry! APChemistry hopefully maintain the A ): *keep finger crossed* GPOPTICS apparently iloveyou but i guess you hated me ! so ya, my mind blacked out during the test today. So i know what im getting for the results already. Finished my part for Gen-ed prog, sigh of relief but have to compile the rest of my teammates also ): SIAN, super lazy do lo i rather sleep my whole weekend away ^^! (Y) HOHO Ohkay bye! :DD One day when the sky is falling, I’ll be standing right next to you, Right next to you. Nothing will ever come between us, I’ll be standing right next to you, Right next to you. |
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▪ new camera
▪ the 18th birthday
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